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Sexual Empowerment for Women
Healing Through Yoga: A Therapeutic Journey to Mind-Body Connection
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Ever felt like a stranger in your own body? Our guest Sarah, a certified mental health-aware yoga teacher, intimately shares her journey of battling depression and anxiety to finding solace in slow, mindful yoga. Sarah opens up about her struggle with disconnection from her body and the powerful role yoga played in her ability to heal, regain control, and foster a healthier relationship with her body and mind.
Moving from the mat to the heart, we delve into the significant role of compassion in our interactions. Through discussion of Sarah's experiences, we uncover how judgments, beliefs, and fears can hinder our life experiences and relationships. Sarah emphasizes the importance of living with feelings, rather than numbing them away, as a path to greater emotional stability and well-being. We also explore how slow, mindful yoga can have a profound impact on our nervous system and overall wellness. If you're ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and learning to slow down, this episode is a must-listen.
About Sarah Shepard
Sarah is a certified Mental Health Aware Yoga Teacher and also holds a Diploma in Yoga. She has taught yoga full-time since 2013, offering public classes and working individually with clients. Sarah’s personal journey with yoga arose out of ongoing mental health challenges from a young age. She now works with clients individually and in small groups specifically as an ‘embodiment therapist’ sharing therapeutic yoga to alleviate depression, anxiety, stress & trauma. She is passionate about sharing the benefits of slow, mindful, nervous system yoga for improved mental health and emotional regulation, as well as helping others feel more safe and at home in their body.
www.yogabodymind.co.nz
www.innerspace.nz
https://www.youtube.com/@yogabodymindsarahshepard/featured
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Tarisha Tourok is the founder of the Sexually Empowered Radiant Woman movement where women learn how to become radiant, confident and own the power and beauty of their sexuality no matter their size, shape, age or race.
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Body Connection and Healing Through Yoga
Speaker 1The body is just here to get me places to perform functions and that's off what happens . I think we just forget that the body is not this vehicle or a brain taxi . As someone , I heard One of the people in the- group A life at a brain taxi Brains and a steering wheel , and it's that we value up here so much , and it's ignorance in a way .
Speaker 2But in a way so , if I get it , sarah , for you the experience was almost like I'm living in the middle , outside of the body , and I go to the body and I judge it , and when I come into the body it feels painful and shameful and so I want to just get out . Welcome to the Radiant Woman podcast , where women learn how to become radiant , confident and own the power and beauty of their sexuality , no matter their size , shape , age or race . Your host is Tadisha Turok . Visit our website at wwwradiantwomanconz to join the Radiant Woman movement . I would love to have you with us . Hello everyone , today I'm having the special guest , sarah . Welcome , sarah , to the podcast .
Speaker 1So nice to see you here . Thank you so much , Teri Shah . It's a pleasure to be here . Thank you .
Speaker 2Sarah . She's a certified mental health aware yoga teacher . It's such a big piece right , moving through the body and actually how do we become aware of our body ? And that's why I really wanted to talk to Sarah , because she holds diploma in yoga and she's been teaching yoga a lot full time since 2013, . And she works with clients in groups and also individually . And Sarah Spears-Noir joined with yoga girls out of ongoing mental health challenges from a young age , so she was able to actually help herself through yoga and so now she works with clients as an embodiment therapist , sharing therapeutic yoga to elevate depression , anxiety , stress and trauma . She's very patient about sharing the benefits of slow , mindful nervous system yoga for improved mental health and emotional regulation .
Speaker 2I talk to my women a lot . Right that we actually need to feel safe in the body and we need to feel at home in the body and only then we can open up to love , to sexual intimacy . But actually this is the foundational piece and that's why I was so keen to talk to you . My brief and sheer bits , sarah , about your journey , a little bit how you got to do this .
Speaker 1So , yeah , I mean it's been an interesting journey and a difficult journey . When I look back to my youth , because I was so disconnected from my body and I went through a highly sensitive but so disconnected , I felt everything so deeply and I experienced quite a bit of depression and anxiety and disconnect in my well coming into teenage years . But quite early on , and this stayed with me and it became something that I felt like was who I was . I'd never shifted . I tried psychotherapy , I tried all sorts of things , and it was only when I discovered yoga , which was quite by chance at my local gym , that things had to open up for me and change .
Speaker 1I was never sporty . I didn't like athletics or anything like that . I was the kid who would never get picked for the team . So I saw myself as this person who wasn't really in the body because that was the only option sport , dance , neither of those things . So for me , yoga it helped me to develop a relationship with my body and I didn't even know that was possible in that way .
Speaker 1So that was 25 years ago now and what really spoke to me was during the relaxation , which I'd never done either . We did the postural class and then at the end there was a relaxation and it was as though I felt like I'd gone somewhere , but I wasn't sure where I'd gone , and it was this connection to a part of me that was not the me that I knew , so it wasn't the identity and the thoughts and the depression and the anxiety . It was like there was something there that was like a clarity . That was my journey with yoga and what I've experienced through the years is my practice changing because I've changed , and so what I found , especially in the last five or so years , is letting go of a more dynamic practice which was great fun , it was a great entry point and moving into a more slow , mindful slowing down and actually just letting my practice be this place of exploration and joy to be in the body and that's going to be a loaded word . Joy , but yeah , but if we , so women can .
Speaker 2what is that experience of disconnect ? Because you talk about so ? Now you're quite in a different place , but I wonder what was your experience ? What is it ? Because we say we disconnected , but what did it actually mean for you ?
Speaker 1What the media meant , not wanting to feel the feelings in my body just being in my thoughts , and also a great amount of shame about my body because I didn't feel like it fitted the standard that society was telling me . And this is , I've never been in a big body or a curvaceous body and yet I was feeling those things . And so the shame and that that sort of internal discomfort . It caused me to seek out substances . It caused me to just keep running and numbing , however I could , just to try and shut these feelings down and just keep running . So for me , that disconnect was like I don't want to feel like I've got a body . The body is just here to get me places to perform functions , and that's what happens . I think we just forget that the body is not this vehicle or a brain taxi , as someone I heard one of people in the bus .
Speaker 1A life at a brain taxi and I sit in that way and it's not we value up here so much and it's ignorance in a way .
Speaker 2But in a way , so , if I get it , sarah , for you the experience was almost like I'm living in , you know , outside of the body , and I go to the body and I judge it , and when I come into the body it feels painful and shameful and so I want to just get out . Yeah , is it ?
Speaker 1Yeah , absolutely , Absolutely . Yeah I think it's a really astute description and literally just not feeling comfortable in my own skin , Certainly like the idea of feeling at home in my body , was just , I wouldn't even have understood that language . And now I look back at that young woman and which continued into my 20s and I was so much compassionate because it's so easy to head down that route and I think , so many women I mean so many people , but particularly I work a lot with women and I see this all about that , this beautiful journey of awakening when people start to develop like a relationship with their body . It's like learning another language , which is really beautiful .
Speaker 2So I wonder . And so now , right , if we go , because I really want to give women a taste of what's possible , because when we feel that kind of that shame and I'm like what is it , the brain takes Like we really spent a lot of time in our head and that leads to kind of depression , right . That leads to numbing out and like watching tons of Netflix or right , or drugs or alcohol or food . So what is now , if you check in with yourself , what is that experience in the body right now ? So women know what's actually possible .
Compassion and Softening in Relationships
Speaker 1Compassion . I would say the number one word is compassionate . I still feel discomfort , I still feel anxious at times , I still feel low . I feel great if I thought all of the colours , but I hold that space for myself with compression .
Speaker 2And it's because we think like it's all going to go away , but we still feel a lot . And being sensitive right is we're going to feel a lot , but it's how you hold it . That's the difference . It's the difference for you .
Speaker 1And feelings are powerful . This thing experiences here in the body . And yet we tend to value the thought processes around that If we just think our way , if we think enough and figure everything out , and everything's going to be great .
Speaker 1But it's here that this is where everything's happening and the feelings . It's like a cycle If you have a feeling and you numb it , it never gets to complete and it sits there in your system like an unresolved sort of issue and that build-up starts to create more and more discomfort and more and more of that Just the ickiness of becomes harder and harder to go there or to know how to go there . So whilst I might say , oh , feelings are beautiful , for lots of people they're not . They're terrifying . And that's why it's really important to either work with someone and I'm sure , as you do , you work with women , step by step , and I work with people like slowly introducing that relationship in the right way for them , by changing , dipping your turn , that's all I'm on to .
Speaker 2So that compassion right . What changes in your life experience ? What is the difference that it actually makes for you ?
Speaker 1So I find this thing as softening in who I am less judgment of myself , less judgment of others , the compatibility also to not take myself so seriously , because that was the theme . Everything mattered so much and there was so much judgment towards myself . It's a bit like putting yourself in a box and making that box smaller and smaller and then it gets a bit tight in there after a while . So I guess the compassion for me has felt like a flowering and expansion , a spaciousness which allows me to hold that space for others .
Speaker 2Yeah , and I love the softening . I'm like several women like I talk to . They talk about the softening . Yeah , did .
Speaker 1I . Oh , that's beautiful .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Yeah , and they're one of the things yeah , no , I was going to say that softening because we've got so much opportunity and potential in so many ways . But one thing I feel as women let's not forget that we can still soften and allow , and we don't need our armour on all the time .
Speaker 2Yeah . And so I wonder , with that yeah , like , how do you see the experience with other people ? How is your life different in the way you relate to other people when you go into that compassion and softening and less judgment ?
Speaker 1So do you mean with my friends and family or people ?
Speaker 2Yeah , friends , family , yeah yeah , Like in your personal life , what do you see ? Yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1I feel like I'm more present . What I noticed a lot in the past was that there was this filter , the mind that you know , because judgments come from the mind . Right , you already have an idea of how things are , so you're less present . That's what I noticed . So I can the compassion means I can notice my reactivity come out , I can notice the things that I may have labeled bad in the past , but I don't necessarily let them play out . And again , that comes from the embodiment aspect as well . When you're more in your body , you can feel a response . It doesn't mean that you always hold it . It comes out and I find that it just helps me to notice oh so that just happened for me , okay . And then perhaps choose to say or do something differently . So it creates two relationships and more presence , which essentially is the essence of good relationships as being present to each other .
Speaker 2Yeah , I just wrote a post to my self presence and how they're so important . But if I get it , it's almost like when I'm in the body , right , and I'm okay with that . I don't get overwhelmed by the emotion . I can notice it , I can hold it . Yeah , I'm a bit so bizarre .
Speaker 1now I'm like the sounds , yeah , yeah .
Speaker 2Yeah , so is it like that sense of overwhelm is not there , Because I think that's what the fee is right , that we're scared that it's and it's going to be so much for me . That's why I don't feel it .
Speaker 1But if I hear that it's almost like you develop the capacity through the practice of yoga , you actually develop the capacity to hold more and not be overwhelmed and notice yeah for sure , and I used to think this was to do with pushing really hard , like a really strong practice , and then and holding a pose for two minutes and feeling how strong it is , and even as I'm talking , I'm clenching my foot and muscle and that to me was like , yeah , make the intensity with the breath , and actually it did less for me than the practice that I do now , which is slow and mindful because there are so many different ways and for some people they need perhaps something stronger , but learning to move towards something a little bit more soft and sensory is really important .
Speaker 2It's not like you can speak now . Your body just has to move . Interesting .
Speaker 1It's different when he kicks the screen . The body is a barometer . Yeah , for sure .
Speaker 2Maybe you can say what is it . So what is that slow , mindful yoga ? What is it ? Because it's a cheap trot . It's not because what I noticed and I love Bikram Yoga , I go to that intense yoga . I have a very relaxation part with that one like the body is really still . But I wonder what is the difference ? Because we're so used to it's not more like Kekrobatics , right , rather than the yoga .
Speaker 1Yeah , and just before I go into that , I just I use talking about Bikram , which is the strong practice . It's quite intense , but I can imagine that you do other practices that are not so strong and intense . Would that be right ?
Speaker 2Oh , just the dancing and the moving and the feeling . But I really like the Bikram part is like the body feels clean from inside and then I feel so tired . The heat , I think that's what makes it .
Speaker 1The body relaxes , it unwinds , which is yeah , yeah , and that's amazing in your body and you know what you enjoy . The thing I'm the point I'm making is it's like life can be really full on for lots of people . Constant activity or constant things to attend to whether that's work , family relationship just want to fit in social life . So to add in that's your life and then to add in a very strong , intense practice . It's like where's the balance ? We have to look at our balance and you've just said your balance comes through dance . So there is that element in many other ways , I'm sure , where you find the flow and the ease and the softness . So yoga , it's such an interesting journey how yoga has arrived in the West with some of the main teacher that the West has got to know from India , the main sort of people that shared yoga . I'm not going to name names but and each of them had a particular style because there's a need to almost brand yourself . So how am I going to offer yoga to the world ? So one of the one of the this misperception about yoga is that it has to . It's super strong . You're not an advanced yogi unless you're contorting yourself into extreme sceptic-cellae postures . It's got this intensity to it and if you look at the roots of yoga , I mean there were some pretty intense practices , but in terms of the physical not so much . It's really become like almost like a Western construct . So we see a lot of embijas on Instagram of , like I say , people in in these extreme postures , and so this is perception that yoga is hot , sweaty , intense and you've got to be hyper mobile in order to do it , and it's so not the case . And so I'm really passionate about sharing the fact that fitness yoga is not true yoga . There's nothing wrong with it . If it lights you up , then awesome
The Importance of Slow, Mindful Yoga
Speaker 1joy .
Speaker 1But the slow , mindful yoga is far more breath-centric . When we slow down , we feel more because those nerves , the transmitting sensory information back to the brain they communicate slower , so we can't access the same deep connection to our bodies if we're moving all the time . Fast , fast , fast , go . That's more proprioception , like where's my body in space , what's my relationship to the environment , so you don't run into something or crash into someone else . That slow , mindful yoga is much more the inner journey , like what's happening on the inside , less external , more internal , more breath-focused , and in that way we meet the moon . So we notice how we're feeling , we've slowed down .
Speaker 1Then when we notice how we're feeling , we can attend to actually regulating the nervous system . So if we're feeling hyper and agitated , we can go oh okay , that's how I'm feeling . What can I do to meet that moon so you wouldn't lie on the floor if you're feeling that way , it's just not going to work . You'll probably lie there , but then you're going to lose energy . So meeting the moon is a way to acknowledge , okay , heightened energy . So you might do something rhythmic swinging , standing swinging , twist or raising your arms up or doing something a bit vigorous . If you're feeling low , you might start on the floor and generally be able to put energy up . So today you create a regulated nervous system and you feel more at ease in your body . And that's just the sort of little intro into why it's different .
Speaker 2So if I get it done , there are two pieces . So one piece is I'm not actually looking from outside again , because if I'm actually focused on how good my posture is right , this is a bit of that performance right and I'm trying so hard to impress someone .
Speaker 2But , we're talking again about coming back into the body and actually feeling in the body , and I really like how you're actually meeting yourselves , which I guess , if I go to a class right , and that really gets me , because now I guess I understand myself a bit more I don't like going to classes . I actually go to the beach when I want to do my yoga , I stand on the beach because then I can actually meet myself , and sometimes I start on the floor , sometimes I start standing , but is that meeting yourself , which is maybe you can talk about ? But that's , this is the two main things are coming back into the body and then meeting yourself , and then Absolutely , yeah , so rather than experiencing yourself from the outside , it's meeting yourself from the inside and , yeah , it's so different .
Speaker 1It's taking away the almost like the glorification of the external form , because that can be a really great hiding place . Is my posture good enough ? Am I doing this well enough ? It's all sort of the mind and the sense of identity that , when we can , when we slow mind for yoga . I don't teach advanced , super advanced posture like laugh at that term I don't teach , maybe , stronger posture like headstands , those kinds of things , but because it keep it accessible and when a practice is accessible , you're more likely to be able to experience it in the way it's right for you , because you're not trying to perform or feel shame , feel like inadequate , notice the competition , all that stuff . So having a relationship , yeah , meeting yourself , it's like beyond identity , beyond the name and the roles and the as this incredible being , this vibrantly alive being , with this incredible nervous system . I mean we're in this body all the time . How could we not be ? Yet it's so common to have disassociation and disconnect .
Speaker 2So it's here , but we're not here , we're in that part I'm leading myself but it's like we're here but then tell her we're not to be here and it's such a struggle .
Speaker 1Yeah , and that in itself that beautiful gesture . Maybe a hand on belly somebody will prefer it just for , but it's that in itself such a simple but very powerful gesture of coming home , of it's okay , I'm here like give ourselves this love , that this compassion that we usually give to others in need . So just finding that that energy , turning that energy inwards back to ourselves , is so valuable and so simple .
Speaker 2For listeners who are just listening to it . That's what we're doing . We're just putting our hands on our hearts one hand on the heart , one hand on the belly and just taking a couple of deep breaths , finding ourselves , meeting ourselves . Really , that , yeah , coming down into the body , yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1This is something that I do all the time . I do it before I get up . I meet myself during the day when I go to bed . It's a really simple thing to do .
Speaker 2I meet myself . Huh , yeah , yeah .
Speaker 1I love doing that .
Speaker 2So I wonder what , like if there's anything else you can share with women . What can they do to start cutting back into the body , to start meeting themselves , to start feeling more at home in the body ?
Speaker 1Right ? Yeah , because we need practical tips that are quite helpful , aren't they ? I would say slow down , we have to slow , we have to learn to slow down . What is that slowing down ? How do I should do that .
Speaker 1So , even if it's just finding because you might have a really demanding job and young kids , or perhaps a job with a certain special need or whatever dealing with an old parent , all those things so it might seem like I have no space , I have no time , but we have time , even if it's five minutes to twice a day . If we can't carve that out for ourselves , then that's a real indication that we're just being taken around by our mind and our thoughts , and that's another what I would say , another thing that's really important to look at , but number one is slow down . Just give yourself permission to slow down , even if it's just for five minutes to twice a day , and do that practice . That's a great start . It's somatic , it involves the body , it's accessible , you don't have to get anything right , you don't have to even like yoga to do this that's what I would say is a starting point .
Speaker 1Secondly , try to move regularly in ways that you enjoy , not like stuff to do this because it's good for me . We're just learning how some and it might not look like a yoga pose or it might just be , maybe hands and knees on the floor , just moving your body Just listen to something every day , or regularly if you can just to start that relationship with the body . It doesn't matter how , just start that relationship in a way that's nonlinear , that's not mechanical , it's not goal-oriented .
Speaker 2So that's ? Yeah , it's like Sarah , because some women they might do quite a go to the gym or do that and they feel , well , I am doing the movement , but are you talking about quite a different kind of movement here ?
Speaker 1Sure I am , but I also love the gym . So I'm 15 next year and I realize that my body needs more strengthening . So I think I just and even at the gym . What I would say is , even at the gym , you could bring in some awareness when you've done a particular exercise that you enjoy , just pause and feel all the sensations from that exercise and that you can feel some quite nice sensations . It can be quite delightful . That's something that you can do , that's still within your you're still meeting your schedule , because sometimes you just feel like we have to fit everything in , but you're giving yourself that pause . And we should pause , apparently , between reps , sets , yeah , for the sets of exercise , so that we give our body a chance to integrate , and that's what the brain needs integration time . That can be . Or , if you do go to the gym , you could do a little hand in these movements to warm up or something like that . But it's the awareness of how you're feeling that's the key as well . So that's a couple of practical things I would say as well .
Speaker 1Just learn in this way how to regulate your nervous system , and that sounds like a big label , but that's why finding a yoga class or working with someone who knows how to do that is really valuable , especially if you find that you're going through stress , anxiety , trauma , depression , and it's not . Things are just grinding a little long and you don't feel like you're in your resource to deal with that . And breath like breath is so important . We don't learn about the breath . It is the number one way , like once we're embodied and embodiment is first . We have to be in the body , then we can start to explore the breath and that's a pathway into the sensory field . So it's not something to be rushed . Everyone has the choice to go as deep as they are able or winning , yeah , but it's so important . The breath is nourishment , it's the support and it's also a pathway into digesting some of that stuff that can be stuck inside of us .
Speaker 2So someone asked me what's your hobby , what do you love doing ? I was like I love to breathe . I was like I want to sort of adjust the embodiment , because this word we use it all the time . But what does it actually mean , the embodiment ?
Speaker 1So there are many different explanations for embodiment and this is beautiful . Once I've really resonated with , I get close to my heart , and I think I mentioned it earlier . Embodiment is feeling at home in the body . Embodiment is experiencing ourselves from the inside , meeting ourselves on the inside rather than experiencing ourselves on the outside . But essentially it's very hard to understand just through this . We can explain it as in terms that we understand , but until you actually start to practice it remains a concept in the mind . So something that I find so beautiful is you think about a little child or a baby . They have no language , there's no words . Their first language and our first language is sensation and mood . Well , thinking , not analysing , not identity , but it's like coming home to that essence of who we are before we layer on all that stuff . That seems to make life rich and beautiful , but also more complicated . Yeah , so embodiment has to be experienced , I would say .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's kind of simplicity later .
Speaker 1Yeah absolutely absolutely , and everyone will find a different way . It's interesting somebody came to my yoga class last night a new person and they had done quite a strong , dynamic yoga and we did lots of somatic , beautiful kind of lunges and our dogs and child's clothes . Then they said , oh , it's not really yoga and I thought , oh , interesting , because it was so different to what they'd experienced that they said , gosh , it's not what I thought it was going to be , but it's probably just what I need . It's so interesting . It was like , oh , welcome to , yeah , like a different way of being in the body and , yeah , it was just really lovely to be part of that experience . So I was waking up to a different way of looking at yoga .
Speaker 2Beautiful so far , just to highlight . So what you shared , right , is that the importance of putting the hand on the heart or hand on the belly and actually connecting to ourselves , meeting ourselves , taking a couple of deep breaths , and that sense of slowing down that we actually we can find even when we say not all have any time , we can actually find a minute or two or five minutes for ourselves from time to time and how important it is to actually do that and adding the movement and , right , that's what you teach yoga that movement where you enjoy it and you meet yourself in the movement . So coming back into the body rather than looking from outside judging , right , how my performing , but actually coming back and having that embodied experience right off the movement , absolutely , yeah , like they said . So I wonder how can people find more about you ? What do you offer to people ?
Speaker 1Well , all seem to lead to Turangi . I've taught yoga classes in Turangi , and the surrounding area of Baton is so I teach .
Speaker 2Auckland , new , zealand , just to say that , yeah .
Speaker 1If you want to look to the Turangi West Auckland , yeah , and I recently moved my therapy practice to again to Turangi , so I see people one on one working specifically with mental health issues , the application of somatics , movement , yoga , breath in ways that meet them where they need to be met . I have two websites . I'm definitely trying to get better at social media , but it's not my strong suit , so I would say that , yeah , finding out more about me would be via my websites as a good place to begin , and I have some free resources there , as well as my YouTube channel .
Speaker 2So I got a website name , so people know it .
Speaker 1Yogaforbodyinmindconz and inaspacenz .
Speaker 2And so we'll leave it in the show notes . Yeah , but I wonder , sarah , like right now , if you can turn into our audience a bit , what would be the message that you want to share with us ?
Speaker 1The message I would like to share would be that sometimes this beginning this journey might feel daunting , but you get to choose how much and how far , and just taking a small step , just a small step and imagining the possibilities that might be able to unfold , imagining yourself more connected , more compassionate , but understanding that you don't have to have all the answers straight away . It's a journey .
Speaker 2And you said , like on your website can people find some resources to help them with that ?
Speaker 1Yeah , I have practices on my YouTube channel and some classes and classes on my website and that gives you a feel of the kind of yoga that I teach and the practices that I value and share .
Speaker 2Thank you . Maybe I can put our link to YouTube channel on the show notes . Yeah Well , thank you so much , Sarah . I've got so many more questions , but I'm sure we can chat again . Thank you so much . Yeah , I feel it was well , one kind of embroidered pitch Great .
Speaker 1Oh , that's wonderful . That's wonderful , and thank you so much for this opportunity . It's such a delight to to share this world of important with you and your audience , yeah thank you and , yeah , I'll see you next week .
Speaker 2Lisa Bye .