Sexual Empowerment for Women

Finding Your Erotic Voice to Create Intimacy with Bea Palya and Tarisha Tourok

• Tarisha Tourok • Season 1 • Episode 30

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Wonder how to talk so you create deeper intimacy with your partner, your kids and your friends?

How to voice your deepest sexual desires?

Have you ever felt your voice stuck in your throat and unable to express how you really feel, what you need and desire?

Let's dive into the magic of voice, sensuality and sexuality with the gorgeous Hungarian singer, Bea Palya. 

Talking our truth? It's not just freeing; it's downright sexy.

As Bea's tunes blend into our chat, we're inviting you to let go of trying to be perfect and, instead, celebrate the genuine, unfiltered you.

Our chat's like a quilt of stories, offering a little light to anyone who sees a bit of themselves in our journey. 

Together, we're unpacking how truly owning our sexuality can flip our past hurts into tales of healing and giving back. Join us for a deep, heart-to-heart talk about connecting with ourselves and each other.

Bea's website: http://www.palyabea.hu/

Your host:

Tarisha Tourok is the founder of the Sexually Empowered Radiant Woman movement where women learn how to become radiant, confident and own the power and beauty of their sexuality no matter their size, shape, age or race.

FREE MINI COURSE: Unlock Your Sexual Confidence - Learn 5 Practices to Heal Your Relationship with Your Body & Your Sexuality

https://radiantwoman.xperiencify.io/tarishatourokbody/mini-course/

FREE WEBINAR: Women Over 40: Discover 5 Keys to Unlock Your Desire So You Enjoy Heart-Melting Intimacy

This is perfect for women who are in a relationship and feel frustrated with their love life, are single and don't want to repeat past hurtful patterns where they lose themselves and their voice, and women who want to feel confident expressing their longings and desires

Join Free Online where you'll learn 5 obstacles to your desire and 5 actionable strategies to activate your desire so you stop feeling frustrated with your love life www.shedesires.live

Visit our website at https://www.sexualempowermentforwomen.com to join the Sexually Empowered Radiant Woman movement.



Speaker 1:

If we listen from the head, we don't really receive the depth of another person. And it's not about what we say. Yeah, yeah. I'm not sure what's happening here, but it feels so good.

Speaker 3:

It feels so good and all my body sensations are like goosebumps all over, because I can feel on your body that. So this is actually already sex in itself.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Radiant Woman podcast, where women learn how to become radiant, confident and own the power and beauty of their sexuality, no matter their size, shape, age or race. Your host is Tadisha Turok. Visit our website at wwwradientwomanconz to join the Radiant Woman movement. I would love to hear you with us. Hello everyone, here we are with my really good friend, Bea. I'm so happy to be here with you. So, hi, Today we're going to be talking about voice and sexuality and how women express themselves, Because I don't know Bea, but I see my women.

Speaker 1:

It's like we have the desires, we have the needs, but it gets stuck in the throat and women, when they connect to that, they start talking like, oh, but I can't say it. And if we stay with it, it really gets stuck in the throat. So I thought you're just such a good person, right, Talking about our throat. Yesterday I started my course and one woman was oh, I really want to speak up and bring my vulnerability, but it feels like I've got this piece in my throat. All she can do is cry, but somehow, speaking it out, there's so much fear. I'll introduce you because some people might not know you, right? So I'll just say that Bea Paela. She is a very famous Hungarian singer and I love listening to your songs and I go on TikTok and I go on YouTube and I listen to you and when I listen to you I feel like deeply touches my soul.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, first of all, thank you for creating this content here. I really miss you, so I'm really happy to see you and feel you, and thank you for the beautiful introduction about being stuck here when I want to say my own truth. So I have many answers to that, but let me explore some of it.

Speaker 1:

But you know in a way, bea, what's happening here. We're liberating our voice, right, we're just coming together and we're just talking about anything.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and this is something we're doing. This is kind of demoing what we are talking about, like how do we? Because we didn't prepare anything at all. So let me give you some exploration and some experiment with your prompt, like voice and sexual intent being stuck here. So first there's a quote I use a lot and it's beautiful.

Speaker 3:

It's by Elan Sixu, french philosopher, writer, and she wrote that women will reconquer their bodies, the body that was more than confiscated from them, the body that was the very place of inhibition and conflicts. Reconquer your body. So you're going to reconquer your breath, your speech, your truth. So somehow speaking and the inner truth, and on a body level it's connected. And she says in the end of the quote write yourself. Because she's a writer, and I like to add to that speak yourself or even sing yourself. Your body must be heard. And so this body and mind or body and speaking connection many times is somehow not seen or not heard, like we are thinking that we speak from here, and then all of a sudden, our bodies just shut us up, shut us down, like don't talk.

Speaker 1:

Well, I guess yeah, because there's not much here, right? Because the truth comes from deeper within.

Speaker 3:

Of course even even more deeper down.

Speaker 3:

I told you yeah, it's, the camera cannot show.

Speaker 3:

But you know, and this is like what I really invite my people, my women, to do, is really be in the body in every moment, moment to moment, being more and more conscious about how am I now, what's going on in my hands, in my chest, in my belly, in my I don't know in my neck, in my hair, in my nose, and then making sound from these points, like from different body parts? Even as I'm talking to you now, I'm aware the tiredness of my prefrontal cortex, because it's my evening, your morning, but I still let my body sounding out. Sometimes I don't even know what we will say because none of us are native English speakers. So it's beautiful because we can.

Speaker 3:

Being unperfect, perfectly unperfect, and even now, as I'm looking you, looking at you and feeling the people who are watching us, is just translating body sensations into sound Like ah, and what will be the next word, who the hell knows? I'm just still keep, keep my mouth, I keep my lips open and I let the sound like a sigh coming out of it, ah, and I really don't care about the meaning of the words.

Speaker 2:

And I see on your and I see, you feel, I know, I know you are.

Speaker 1:

Actually, you know what I'm feeling. I'm feeling like my fingers and my toes want to speak. No, I love it. I usually talk from my heart, from my journey, from my belly, but right now it's like my fingers, and there's something about it's almost like being touched deep inside as you speak, and feel touched inside, and it's also my fingers want to touch. That's because that's for me, that's my language of love, of touching, and so my fingers, like ah. I guess I want to hug you and touch you and it feels so good.

Speaker 3:

And you know what, what, what is done, and you have just said you. You see, it makes tears in my eyes. So that's how I love your sensitivity, I love your almost transparent skin that you feel each and every word I say, and this is just energy, this is just loving physical body energy that I let out you know, I didn't say any specific big wisdom, or maybe I did, because it came from my body and you connected to it immediately. So maybe it's a great takeaway for a listener is that whenever you don't, you don't know what to say and how to say, just keep your lips open and just start to. What is the next word I'm going to say? And there's an exercise that was truly life changing for my women is that I'm Bell and I'm here, so just saying my own name, the fact that I'm here, and then along sound.

Speaker 1:

I'm Tariša and I'm here. Oh, that's so good.

Speaker 3:

Ready the first. Yeah, I'm so proud of myself as I develop this because, you know, many times I just want to. When someone is like in group coaching, someone is like having a question, and oh, I'm excited, I feel excited and fearful at the same time. I don't know what to say. Just OK, you are here, you are, you are, you are Tariša. Just start to say and so that's how the exercise was created, even though you just did once. But imagine what could it be? The second, or the third and even the fourth time is like a total ownership on the fact that you are you, that you are here, and then you're sounding out.

Speaker 1:

And you know what it comes to me is. That creates a different level of connection, because it's always like what we do here you talk from that place, but I listen into my body. I guess that's what my gift is that my body is quite attuned. So when you speak, I receive it into my body, not into my head. So it's almost like it doesn't matter, in a way, what you say, but I receive it, and then we have this amazing connection even over the screen. I mean, we're completely different, we're in different days, because today is Friday and for you it's Thursday. But that's what I was yesterday talking to my women as well as how we listen. It's almost like if we listen from the head, we don't really receive the depth of another person, and I thought about what we say. Yeah, I'm not sure what's happening here, but it was so good.

Speaker 3:

It feels so good and all my body sensations are like goosebumps all over as you speak. It's so beautiful to connect with someone who is that sensitive and that receptive to energies like you are. It's truly a bliss, and you are walking your talk, because that's what you teach, and so it's really nice. Even after the first sentence, without zero preparation believe us or not, we didn't prepare anything.

Speaker 1:

We're not going to be talking about.

Speaker 3:

But it's also very interesting for me what just came up while you were speaking about speaking and listening, because I think it's the two sides of the coin and in the moment we feel liberated to say whatever we need to say because we are conscious about our body sensations and we can translate to those into any kind of words in any language. We are also becoming more relaxed in listening to others, so we don't have this urge of saying something.

Speaker 1:

That's the contraction kind of that comes, and I guess it's in the head of that contraction that I have to respond somehow.

Speaker 3:

Because many times we feel like we need to prove that we are smart or we need to prove that we are here and those kind of relaxed, silent, just be with you moments in a conversation Sometimes say more than words.

Speaker 1:

I'm Tereisha and I'm here.

Speaker 3:

And I so much want to hug you really like, come on, girl.

Speaker 1:

We'll have to meet up. I just thought I'll introduce you because some people might not know you right, so I'll just say that by a pile of cheese. A very famous Hungarian singer and I love listening to your songs and I go on TikTok and I go on YouTube and I listen to you and when I listen to you I feel like deeply touches my soul, because your singing is so important and there's so much beauty in it and there's a sense of I get in your singing a sense of really deep sadness as well, Like it comes somehow that when the soul is touched, sadness is connected to that and it's like oh, and it feels so good to listen to you, so good to talk to you.

Speaker 3:

Thank you so much. It's again, second time already in 10 minutes that you make my eyes pretty theory, so thank you so much. It's a good point. It's a great, very precise feeling and realization that, yes, indeed, in the depth of my being is a muddy, dark, archaic, murky place, full of pain, anger, sadness, loneliness. And so that's where I come from. By the way, I think I'm not alone with that, by the way, I think you're not, I'm not, I actually know it. But what I do is that with my songs and with singing and the teaching, the voice work I teach, I transform the things I find there. But in order to transform something, I have to first go there, and that's where it's getting really courageous, because going down there it doesn't mean that, oh, you find some material for song and then you bring it up and then you close it politely. Hell, no.

Speaker 3:

It's like that. It could be the case, but it's not. Maybe some of the singers and songwriters can do that, I don't. So the way it works is you work to how to open that gate. Did you get there to this muddy, murky, archaic, dark place to find emotions unprocessed, I don't know, traumas, wounds, and then you bring up something, of course, sure, and you probably turned out some of it into beautiful songs, but when the gate is open, all the emotions just comes up, and so the art here is to really learn to navigate in closing and opening, in closing and opening this gate. You understand that right, because I can see, I can feel on your body that, oh so this is actually already sex in itself.

Speaker 1:

That's what I've been thinking. I'm thinking like as you speak, because you know, quite often women, when they come they feel like there's something broken in me, something that needs to be fixed. But actually what you're talking about, and that's the big piece, where it's our feelings, we just dive into them and then that makes us more human, that it gives us more depth, that there's nothing broken in us but we just we kind of open up and that's actually where the connection happens, the deep connection, because it's almost like we all want deep connection with each other, but it's almost like we want to connect our perfect selves, which don't exist, that sense of brokenness or whatever, the depth, the deep grief and messiness, that's what creates the deep connection, like we don't need to fix it. Because I think the thing is, if we fix it, then we're not going to be as lovable, we're not going to be as like, we're not going to miss much connection, we're not going to miss human.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and see what you have just said. You felt some deep sadness and pain in my music and that's where your connection to it doubled, or tripled.

Speaker 2:

I haven't been Russian.

Speaker 3:

I was like, oh, yeah, of course, all my people, my women, you know, from all over the world. They feel that and it's and I say it to our listeners that it's not something that you have to be ashamed of. It's your very unique pain and very unique, very personalized, challenging anger and sadness and loneliness Like yours. There's not no one else's, of course deep down it's the same, but you can make it into something very personal, yet very, very worthwhile to a whole community, a community of people whose wounds are the same than yours. So I assume you are. You tend to attract people who are wounded where you were and you can give your tools, what you have found in your own healing path, as to them, as medicine as well, and which is becoming a beautiful service. And that's what happened with me.

Speaker 1:

It's like the balm. I call it the balm for the soul. Find your balm and what's the flavor of your balm? And it's not like we need to fix it. It's actually that's what brings us, you know, into the connection. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it's, and it's so beautiful. I was just, I just finished the sentence and I just felt like I just let it lingering in the space because I'm I'm somehow sensing, even though they are not here, but our listeners, like we, are pretty recording this material but still somehow I know that people who we connect to what we say, they will feel it, because it is so universal, to be ashamed of our pain and sadness and not so nice parts and unperfect parts. And I'm just here and living example of absolutely illogically becoming famous. It's not logical at all. I'm half gypsy. I'm marginalized. I was sitting in the last row in my little tiny village in the school in the Hungarian village. I grew up Well. My childhood wasn't very easy, let's just put that way, with an alcoholic father and well.

Speaker 1:

I can use bombs as you speak. It's like something, it's like wow, I think that was the making of the famous.

Speaker 3:

You know, no, no. But look at this. I mean, oh, like my little girl just reading all these female biographies, from Coco Chanel to Janet Josephine Baker. Who these women weren't blessed to have a beautiful, easy childhood? Oh my God, not at all, but not even Rihanna or all the others. It's not about being free of wound, but no, it's about what you do with it. So take your, take ownership of your own shit and do something with it, what you do with it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because I guess because me, coming right from my childhood, and I was sexually abused when I was little and then I felt like that sexuality was so painful and kind of dirty. I felt like it's like animals and it didn't feel, felt, yuck, right. And now just going and doing this work and bringing beauty into my sexuality, and now when I see women and they go through, whatever they go, you can't come up on the other side because I know, when you know my love is like, feels like my whole body is just I'm making love in my body. It's so beautiful, so just amazing and expanding, and where I come in from right, it's like it's possible. And I feel like that's my horrible gift, like I can't be grateful for what happens. I mean that's a bit too much of a step, but at the same time it opened this door for me because I don't think I would go this way if things were different for me. So, yeah, taking what we do with it.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and I'm so honored as you speak because we know each other for like two and a half years and I saw you growing into that and it was so beautiful that and same for me. I think we were pretty parallel in that the more and more you got ownership of your own wounds and traumas and story and turned it into gold, the more you can serve others. But in order to do that, we really have to. Well, I would say, open up, but open up in a safe way, because it's never a good open up and then, oh, it's muddy and bloody and the? The. But open up in a safe way, where, where you meet with people who can have a safe con, with whom you can have a safe container or a mentor or a group program or any good place. And what is the any good place? Characteristic in my way is your body knows. So I always say to my people, to my women if you are with me now and what you feel, do go into the body and your body will tell you.

Speaker 1:

Oh, does your body feel right?

Speaker 3:

now, yeah, and you don't have to. We are kind of. I think we are full of work and full of everything. So if someone is I don't say meant to be or it's not destiny thing, because there's a way, a lot of teachers out there, but I think I always give that advice or invitation to my new people that just feel into into your body what your body says when you are with me or with my circle or in my container, because I remember when I started my business, owning entrepreneurship, I jumped into so many calls and so many containers.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I spent tons of money, like 100,000.

Speaker 3:

Oh so and tons of, tons of hours and energy. And I remember at one day it was not the best technically set up, call and complete the structured and organize and it was a man it was. I don't even remember his name, but it was like I just drop in things that I teach randomly. But my body said, wow, this is so cool. Of course I'm a big believer in structure, but I always invite my being back to the body because this man, he was also showing me something that it's the quality of connection and authenticity in your voice and body that will bring people to your circle, if this is something that you value at all, because you might be a heavy, heavy person who wants information, but probably you don't end up listening to us, probably not but it's also a valid state of learning and being.

Speaker 3:

It's nothing wrong with that, and I think I have also a super brain, and yours as well, because I remember we worked together in something and oh wow, taurisha. But it's not my main power or essence, it's my wild, raw self that give people permission to be the same unperfectly wild animal and yet very elegant at the same time. Wow.

Speaker 1:

But there's, I guess, the headpiece when I relate to, because I used to be a chatrotic accountant. I still have a couple of clients that I need to let go of. But as that mindset I'm pretty good here. But actually when I was just there I felt so miserable and coming into the body. That's where I feel the happiness kind of lives, the joy lives in the body and it's quite sad the piece when you talk about it. Right, it's like listen to your body. But actually we need to create that connection because if I'm totally disconnected some women go. I don't know. They saw that connection was totally severe here.

Speaker 3:

Of course, and you are not an idiot, as one of my therapists said, you are not an idiot If you feel that you just shared your history. You had very strong interest to not to connect your body with your head and, for the record, I live in an AI researcher, a senior AI researcher, and you know these guys, these men. He's 50 something, 54. And so this is the IT generation who was really, I think, trained to be in the code and in this world of symbols and mathematics, and not feeling and cut everything and like developing these super brains, and I think our world is based on their work today, because everybody talks of AI and even that call is not would not be possible without all.

Speaker 1:

So we need it.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, the other thing that came up is that my I have a close friend, dr Gabon Mati, and he said he used to say I don't know how many decades of his life. He didn't even understand the question. How do you feel he didn't understand that's amazing.

Speaker 1:

Now he's doing such a great work.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah, he just turned 80. And we're going to be going to be together in Oxford in amongst their series, teaching together next to each other. Hopefully it's so amazing that he didn't even hear or understand the question. How do you feel and I think I think it's again very universal in these kind of, in these places and within these bodies and souls that the high interest to cut off?

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So I'm just wondering, maybe what if we can invite listen aside for just hug ourselves, and if you just connect for a moment to the body, take a couple of deep breaths and just say hi to yourself. Make some sounds, no one's out breath. Yeah, say hi, touch the physical body and maybe everyone can say, yeah, I'm right here, I'm here.

Speaker 3:

I'm there and I'm here.

Speaker 1:

And just giving space to the body and maybe I ask your body how are you feeling right now and what's your message for me?

Speaker 3:

I just share a short one, yeah, as I really tuning. I'm tuning into my body. I let go of the smile, I let go of the regard. Even I close my eyes, and I don't want to please anyone. I just want to be me and stay connected to you and to whom are listening to us or watching us. But I don't want to project any other thing but me. I don't want to please, I don't want to be nice, so I just let this smile just melt away and just be.

Speaker 1:

And my body feels really funny. It's like once to jump. It's so excited. I feel this really young and she's like, oh yeah.

Speaker 2:

Go, go go.

Speaker 1:

I love it. I know I had so much excitement. I think I was trying to be too adult.

Speaker 2:

I love it.

Speaker 3:

And it's also, you know, emotions are like ends, like in a moment I was so sad and going to this deep, lonely place in me and when you started to jump like a little girl, it's like you know, it reflects on me and I just feel it. I love it.

Speaker 1:

So my big whoever listens to this if you can just comment how you felt in the moment, it'll be nice to see.

Speaker 3:

And what came to me is just singing like three lines, because that's maybe you don't know, but my class is finishing with a self lullaby. Every time, anytime I teach anything anywhere, I start and end the same way, and this is the anchoring part, because in between those we can go really deep. So I start with five body exercise. Part of it is self massage and breathing, and in the end we always do that like we sooth ourself with our own voice.

Speaker 1:

So it goes like I'll introduce you because some people might not know you right. So I'll just say that by a pile of cheese. A very famous Hungarian singer and I love listening to your songs and I go on TikTok and I go on YouTube and I listen to you and when I listen to you I feel like deeply touches my soul.

Speaker 2:

Sleep baby, sweet baby. God sings for you through the night. Angels wait for you in the morning light. Sweet Arisha, sweet Bea, sweet Lily, panika. Angels wait for you in the morning light. It's so beautiful.

Speaker 3:

How much I love you. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1:

It's a good one to start the morning.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I'm so happy you took this all in. Oh my God. I'm gonna have a good day. Today. I'm gonna have a beautiful night. Hopefully my man arrives soon.

Speaker 1:

Hopefully. Is there anything else to complete? Is there anything else you feel is to be said? I'm not sure.

Speaker 3:

I think I just want to express my gratefulness to you, because you were the one who set up this call and we are 12 hours apart in time zones and it's a kind of a commitment and energy investments. I just want to. If I could, I would hug you like that and hold you and I do like hmm, Tarisha, you are a queen, you're such a great human being, and so I just want to express that and give a voice to that.

Speaker 2:

Thank you.

Speaker 1:

I'm receiving. I can see that One day we're gonna meet in person and, yeah, just thank you for your voice, and I feel that it actually feels cool. I think what I want to leave everyone with is just how simple that feels when we just connect ourselves and then we're just having a conversation which feels so deep and there's I think there's a content here, but it's not about that. It's about how we feel with each other and it's about this actually listening and speaking from a deeper place which feels so good.

Speaker 1:

So maybe I can invite the listeners today to practice speaking and listening from a deeper place and just see what happens. You might fall in love with everyone around you.

Speaker 3:

That's kind of what's happening. I really like Tarisha come here One day I'm gonna hug you so strong.

Speaker 1:

So, Beth, how can people find more about you?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, so I'm Beth Paya, from Hungary. I'm a singer-songwriter and a transformational voice coach, and so my site is paliaberhu. I put everything under the video and I have voice programs. My voice program is called Unleashing your Authentic Feminine Voice for Power and Impact. It's a six-week long course. I have also a one-on-one practice. It's with the same name, but it's, of course, a deeply personalized coaching package and otherwise my music it's on my official YouTube channel with more than 400 videos and all the testimonies which I'm really proud of from women I work with. And Tarisha, how about you?

Speaker 1:

And I'm a sexuality and a relationship therapist and so I work with women on how to connect to their desire and desire for love and desire for life. So I work a lot with sexuality and my course is Sexually Impowered Radiant Woman and it's a ten-week course. So I've got a webinar and the website is shedesiresly and it's about five keys to unlock your desire. It's mostly sexual desire. So you're welcome to find me, and my website is deadlintwomancom.

Speaker 3:

Nice, beautiful.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much, and we're going to record this once a month. That's our commitment, so we'll be sending you more. God, goodness, bye.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I mean, I love you, bye.