Welcome to the Sexually Empowered Radiant Women podcast where women learn how to become radiant, confident and own the power & beauty of their sexuality no matter their size, shape, age or race. Your host is Tarisha Tourok. Join She Desires: Discover 5 Keys to Unlock Your Desire & Reclaim Your Pleasure masterclass at www.shedesires.live. Free mini-course Reclaim Your Sexual Confidence https://radiantwoman.xperiencify.io/tarishatourokbody/order/
Why Menopause is the Most Empowering Time of Your Life!
•Tarisha Tourok
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Menopause is a majestic transformation, a time to honour and celebrate ourselves. It’s not just a phase; it’s us becoming wiser to life and gaining the freedom to truly empower ourselves. We walk with our ancestors, realigning with nature and reclaiming our power.
Join our Magical Menopause Challenge, a nurturing 5-day journey starting on May 27th at 12 p.m. NZ time. This is not just a two-hour workshop – it’s a comprehensive experience designed to offer information, inspiration, and a nurturing hand to guide you through this powerful time.
Here’s why you should join us:
🌿 Reframe Menopause: See menopause with fresh eyes as a transition from apprentice to alchemist. Embrace your ability to do anything without needing to do everything. Transform grief into love and become the light at the top of the lighthouse.
💖 Rediscover Intimacy: Intimacy and connection are vital, especially as we age. Menopause isn’t the end of desire; it’s a time to rediscover what truly fulfils us. Learn tools and practices to bring more physical loving and deep intimacy into your life.
🔄 Shift Perspectives: Break free from society’s limiting beliefs about menopause. Normalise the conversation and explore new perspectives. Symptoms aren’t inevitable – with the right tools and mindset, you can thrive.
🌸 Community Connection: Join a supportive community where you can share your journey, learn from others, and feel empowered. Our challenge offers a safe space to connect, share stories, and find your inner power.
During our challenge, you’ll receive:
Daily sessions: Interactive and engaging sessions via Zoom and Facebook.
Expert guidance: Insights and tips from experienced facilitators.
Community support: A dedicated Facebook group for ongoing connection and support.
Q&A session: A live Q&A on the fifth day to answer all your questions.
We’re so excited to co-create this magical experience with you. Let’s walk together through this majestic time, honour our journeys, and reclaim our power. See you there!
Tarisha Tourok is the founder of the Sexually Empowered Radiant Woman movement where women learn how to become radiant, confident and own the power and beauty of their sexuality no matter their size, shape, age or race.
FREE WEBINAR: Women Over 40: Discover 5 Keys to Unlock Your Desire So You Enjoy Heart-Melting Intimacy
This is perfect for women who arein a relationship and feel frustrated with their love life, are single and don't want to repeat past hurtful patternswhere they lose themselves and their voice, and women whowant to feel confident expressing their longings and desires
Join Free Online where you'll learn 5 obstacles to your desire and 5 actionable strategies to activate your desire so you stop feeling frustrated with your love life www.shedesires.live
It's just going to be so magical, and that's why we called it Magical Menopause.
Speaker 2:
Why would women want to join us.
Speaker 3:
What are they going to get out of it? I think it's a time that we need to honour and celebrate ourselves, because it's a very majestical time menopause it's us becoming wiser to life. We also get the freedom to really empower ourselves through everything that's going on, and celebrate that, because we need to honor our journeys. We don't do that enough as beautiful wahine. We come into this time and we're so distracted by everything else and I've got goosebumps on my legs right now because we walk with our ancestors, we walk with our, our whānau, and they want us to honour ourselves through these phases, through these cycles of life, and really realign with nature, because that's who we are.
Speaker 1:
I would say it's a refreshed way of looking at menopause Not only information, not only inspiration, but also a little bit of that nurturing, like a little bit of that handholding. And that's why we've done it as a challenge over five days, so it's not just a two hour workshop and done, and see ya, I think that it's, that it's nurturing them through it with a new perspective, a different way of viewing this stage of life, this journey that many of us are coming into or some people will be finishing up with journey that many of us are coming into or some people will be finishing up with.
Speaker 4:
I feel like we're stepping through from the apprentice into the alchemist. I think we are now in a new age, a new era where, like I said, we're realizing we can do anything, but we don't need to do everything, and we are the light at the top of the lighthouse. We were the generation that didn't get to celebrate our monarchy, our menstruation, our sexuality, our motherhood so much, but we can be the mothers and the grandmothers that can alchemise that grief into love and create opportunities, so that no more generations have to experience a ride that we have to unlearn and remember.
Speaker 2:
it'll just be, it'll be how it is, it'll just be for me, why I think women should join is to really I like what, natalie, you said, that to reframe, to really see a different perspective and see this as a powerful time. And also what I see is that as women, we so need affection, we need intimacy, we need deep connection and somehow with menopause or whatever we say it's right, getting up to 40, we give up on that. What's important for women? To give them tools and practices that they can use to actually bring more intimacy into their lives, because I really see how intimacy affects women. We might say it's not for me anymore, but actually that affection is so important for us and how much energy we can take from sexual intimacy, from deeply fulfilling sexual intimacy.
Speaker 2:
Women need to know the tools and practices to be able to bring more physical loving into their life, because it's so important, it nourishes us. For me, it's like it gets through my skin. It's like, oh, the love gets from my skin and it feels so good and then I can do my work. It's the place where we can deeply receive the love from another human being. I'd love to share tips and tricks on actually how do we bring more of deep intimacy. And I also know the more we focus, the more put energy, the more just there. They even done research where women were just talking about sexual desire and in a month they started to have more sexual desire. So the more we can talk about power of the menopause, the more power we're going to feel in it.
Speaker 3:
I think that we can find intimacy with ourselves too and feel complete in ourselves. We find that in others, in connection with other women, and we find that with partners, and we also find that with ourselves. So there's layers deep here that we can actually get into with different levels of energy and how we connect to our own power, and it is bringing that power back. Intimacy comes in many forms.
Speaker 2:
What frustrates you most about how the society treats men?
Speaker 3:
of course I think normalizing it, actually normalizing the symptoms, when we can get by with better flow if we know what tools to use and what resources. There's so many labels and so much programming and belief systems implanted into us that we're meant to be doing these things at certain times in our life when we can really just find the flow if we've got the right ingredients.
Speaker 1:
Nice one. And for you, natalie. I guess generalizations that everyone has the same things. We know about hot flushes and moodiness, and so I think people then come to expect that they're going to get this menu of symptoms and it's such a hard time, and I don't think that's always the case. I think people have a different as Jackie talks about different expressions of menopause, and it's important to see the other side of it as well.
Speaker 2:
For me. Talking to my women, they say that their sexuality and sexual desire dies. It's almost like that's given If I'm going through menopause. That's why I don't want it anymore. I feel like what's really important that women start to desire different things, but it's not that it's time for us to give up on our intimacy and sexual life. Actually, we need to find what we truly desire now. Menopause desire dies and that's how it is and we can't do anything about it. I think that's a piece of feeling disempowered through the process that really frustrates me.
Speaker 3:
It is actually losing that power, and I talk about this through every hormonal transition. It should be a time that we're celebrating and honoring our inner wisdom and our power as we transition through the beautiful phases that we go through the cycles of life with the rhythms of nature. Nature does the same, and when we have these labels that we lose our desire, it's almost like that's the seed that's being planted. Well, let's grow a different seed. Let's create a better story than that.
Speaker 2:
But women so buy into the stories. That's the piece where it's like this is how it is and that's why women go into the hormone replacement therapy. Right, Because this is how it is and this is the only way, and we accept it and we just buy into it somehow.
Speaker 1:
I agree.
Speaker 1:
That's why I feel like they laser focus on symptoms and I love to introduce the concept of archetypes, which many people, all of us, have heard about but a lot of people haven't, because it's not something that gets really talked about.
Speaker 1:
And really for women at this stage to realize who they've been being, who they've been busy being, for most of their life, or maybe the years leading up to the menopausal time, and then for them to think, well, who would I become if I called upon these other aspects of myself, so if they've been busy being the nurturer and the motivator primarily, and I would say so, how would life look to you if you called on because you've got it already within you your inner visionary, right, right, and your inner truth teller, because a lot of women in their older years you know what I'm done with putting everyone else first. I'm ready to actually stand up and be seen, or I'm ready to speak more of my truth around how I deserve to be treated or how, or boundaries that I want to live by, and I think it's such a time of empowerment for women if they allow themselves to step into that.
Speaker 2:
That's so beautiful. I love it because, like it's in my field, right With sexuality, it's almost like women used to give sex as a. That's what I have to do for my partner to keep the family together, and it was menopause. What do I want from it now? How do I vision my life and what do I want out of this? How do I see the sexual intimacy that actually what's going to fulfill me rather than doing it for my partner and knowing yourself.
Speaker 3:
this is this intrinsic, awakening this intrinsic, knowing that we all have deep within ourselves and really coming back to that power, our core power and who we are, and having tools to actually feed ourselves well, nurture ourselves well, so that we don't experience these symptoms, because these symptoms right, they're just our body's way of talking to us. So our body's talking to us through these symptoms and when we know what the symptom is and intrinsically know our own power to come back to our peace with that, because it's often that we're blocking and we haven't got that flow.
Speaker 1:
so coming back to really own that power and flow through it that's really funny that you're talking about peace, because I went and grabbed an essential oil before we jumped on. I love that one.
Speaker 3:
Because that's what it's about. I was talking about this with somebody this morning finding our peace, our neutral space. When we're in that space, we go into that space with meditation, through breathing. But a lot of what we're seeing now is people are finding their peace in their present moment, whether you're going for a walk or whether you're cleaning your oven. Finding your peace in the present moment, to be in that moment and love that moment for you, and that's part of that power. We're not being pulled either way into that realm where it's not serving us outside of this peaceful state meditative state.
Speaker 1:
You know, when you said, bridget, that the body is talking to you. So what would you say then? If someone said, oh, I have a regular headache that I get, what would that mean in terms of the body, or what plant medicine would you suggest to help?
Speaker 3:
Okay. Well, headaches are quite a vast symptom, because they can be brought down by many things. Food's one of the biggest ones, and when we're eating different foods, perhaps with more of a chemical or toxic load, then I'd expect to see people that have got lacking concentration perhaps having headaches.
Speaker 3:
I'd also look at the liver and the gut because, that's a lot of where we do our detoxification pathways, and then we can yeah, we can look at how our hormones are even being spent and if they're detoxing out of the body or if they're being stored and spent. Hormones can actually create a lot of headaches and pain in the body. To be honest, pain anywhere, and it's really individual as to where we'll experience our pain too. Not everybody will experience the pain in the head, but a lot of us do.
Speaker 2:
I wonder, bridget, is there one specific tip you can give to women For headaches? For headaches.
Speaker 3:
yeah, drink more water, hydrate yourself better. A lot of us are very dehydrated and these symptoms come from not only the liver being able to have that easy flow to be able to get things out of the body that aren't serving us, that have become a bit toxic, but it's also about that hydration. A lot of symptoms are actually allayed with just having plain good water. And when I'm talking about good water, I'm not talking about tap water, I'm not talking about water out of a plastic bottle, I'm talking about getting yourself good sources of water Spring waters are probably the best and because they have the electrical potential and I will go into this more in my talk. But when we've got electrical potential, it enables it to get through boundaries and really hydrate our bodies. If we don't have the electrical potential in water, it's then not able to pass through that boundaries and really get into the cells and then hydrate us and make us feel good, make us feel plump and flowing, because our bodies are 99% water and structure.
Speaker 2:
Beautiful and for you, Natalie, would there be a tip from you?
Speaker 1:
Well, there are some things. I met a woman just yesterday and she said oh my goodness, the hot flushes, they're real, it's a thing. And I said, oh, I've got an easy solution for that. I said one of the things that can support you is peppermint oil. You literally take peppermint oil in a rollie like this, or just put it behind your neck, so behind your neck of rolly like this, or just put it behind your neck, so behind your neck, and because it's cooling, so it helps to cool down a fever, a temperature or even anger, because all of those things are interrelated probably as well, so that you can drop a drop of oil in your hands, you can breathe it if you want to be focused and awake. But in terms of the hot flushes, it actually helps to regulate the temperature and brings down that hot feeling.
Speaker 1:
I had a hot flush one time. I actually quite liked it, because I'm normally more cold and I was like, oh my goodness, I'm getting really hot. I had to take off my jersey. It made me think of my mother, but it wasn't so bad. I kind of liked it.
Speaker 2:
I want to talk about hot flushes because for me, when I feel it's the energy that comes up and actually what I believe and the practices that I do we need to raise that energy to our heart.
Speaker 2:
It's like that if we start raising our sexual energy to our heart our third eye to the universe then it's good to have hot flashes because it's really intensifies that energy and it can start opening the channels in our body and once we can lift it, we actually then can start experiencing more pleasure and in sexuality we can experience deeper intimacy. We actually then can start experiencing more pleasure and in sexuality we can experience deeper intimacy because the kid it actually really opens our body more to love. And I guess what I'd love to leave people with is actually welcome the hot flashes. It's more about knowing how to raise their energy and how to work with it rather than saying that's something bad about them. Celebrate them. I'll share more in the talk that I'm going to do during the challenge on actually how to do that process. So I wonder, jackie, for you what would be a tip that you can give to the listeners?
Speaker 4:
I'm actually still with the hot flushes, but I prefer to call them power surges and I always get women to feel into what direction they're coming from and, like you said, they're coming from the lower to the upper, up into the cosmos. So when you actually refer to them as a power surge, I put like an intention into them as they come out. I haven't had I've probably had a handful of them, but when they come on I'm a bit the same. I kind of like, right, okay, what intention am I going to put out? So I use it more as a magic trick as opposed to being an uncomfortable experience. But there's also, like Natch referred to taking a layer off, actually re-looking at the way we dress ourselves and be in the position that we can take layers off or be in more comfort when these events do take place.
Speaker 1:
I love that, jackie. It's such a mindset shift, right. Usually it's like oh gosh, here comes another one versus oh okay, how can I channel the intention of this? It's a power surge. Even the languaging, the phrasing of it is a mind shift and that can totally shift our experience. I'm so excited to learn more from you about the 54 expressions of menopause?
Speaker 4:
Definitely yeah. There's no such thing as symptoms here. We're all about expressions.
Speaker 4:
So maybe, maybe, jake, as you think, could you share just one expression as a teaser yeah, one that I love is one that we've medicalized and called insomnia, so waking at night time, and I always think about who told us that's when we're meant to sleep and, interestingly enough, like particularly when you're being a parent and you're working and we've gone through this whole feminism revolution of doing everything, and when we're actually designed that we can do anything but not everything.
Speaker 4:
Often night times, where it's it, is a quiet time where people aren't looking for your attention, and isn't it interesting that we're woken in the night and what is looking for our attention is that connection to the divine, or connection to cosmos, or source, universe, god, whatever it is that you refer to. And so, rather than fall into this fight and flight of trying to get sleep and really fight with it, actually surrender to it and see what those messages are. And I know that the more I practice that and sit there and speak to the moon and the stars and get those downloads and those messages, the faster I actually go back to sleep that's what I do, so that's so cool, because I was like okay, what's your message for me?
Speaker 2:
Why are you waking me up when?
Speaker 3:
that comes through, I think as well. It's about looking to nature for your answers. I've always done that as well. When you wake at night, quite often you're being called and we call it cosmos, we call it the universe, we call it source. But we're connecting back to ourself and back to our own energy source and, especially when we're having hot flushes, our sun energy is the best energy we can take on board. We need to embrace that. That brings in so much energy for us and we almost waste it by eating it and having these blocks to it because we've put so many labels around these things or we've had labels not so much us. We're here to disallay the labels, ladies there's a piece when you talk there's a
Speaker 2:
shame attached to it as well. So it's not just a label, but actually there's a lot of shame and shame. Really it works to disempower us. That's how I feel the society disempowers women through the menopause because it's something wrong with you and the shame that attached to it really takes our power away.
Speaker 1:
One of the things I'm going to be talking about is I'm going to be talking about the four archetypes, but also some essential oils to support you through menopause, and one of them for intimacy, for example. Well, two of them. I'm going to talk about passion and I'm going to talk about whisper, so those are two around that intimacy space, and then some others around more of the expressions, as Jackie would say. So the peppermint and a few other oils. It's going to be an exciting session. What are you going to cover, jackie? Really?
Speaker 4:
just reframing those expressions so that we can see the power in it. But I think we've really touched on something really important is community, so bringing people together and sharing the stories that we just don't hear. That's how it used to be. We used to connect in circle and share the stories, so then you were able to like what Bridget's referred to as connect in with yourself and go, oh wow, me too. I've experienced that too and seeing things in a different perspective.
Speaker 4:
I think also, taking that hour over five days to cause for menopause is going to be really powerful for people too. We've got many people signing up because we are really craving and desiring that connection, and I love the word intimacy and I break it down to into me. I see, and I think that is something that we're really going to be able to support more and more people. And the ripple effect's phenomenal because a lot of us have had our children a little later, say, than what biology would necessarily suggest. So we're still parenting young people going through a transition themselves as we go through a transition. So community is really important because the evolution is shifting a bit, so we have to meet with the modern times as well. What are you going to be teaching Bridget oh?
Speaker 3:
wow different natures, different ingredients, to unlearn what you've learned and remember yourself. This is really important. We are such miraculous beings. We have this ability to self-organize and self-regulate and self-heal if we give our bodies the right ingredients, and that's not just from what we eat or what we drink. It's actually bringing in a lot of rituals through nature and allowing her to realign us within her rhythm, because the Gregorian calendar doesn't really allow us to stay within that rhythm. We create our own rhythm.
Speaker 3:
And it's really great to talk about community, because when you come together in community and you ladies probably have as well when you've been in a home with other women you start to align with your cycles and things as well. And that's all of what nature does to us, and we talked a little bit about this with Jackie talking about reframing insomnia. Really, it's the reseeding from Marama. She's the enlightenment. She brings in the light and the dark, getting back out there into nature and watching her and allowing her to seed you. So there's many tools that I'll be talking about, and I will talk about Kai, about food, but more about the toxic load we get from food and how to become more qualitarian, eating more quality and actually just consuming more quality through every orifice.
Speaker 1:
I think if I wasn't already co-creating this, I'd be signed up one more thing is that on the fifth day at midday we're going to be doing a Q&A, which will be really fun, so people can by that time they'll have a lot of questions come up. We can answer some things on the spot. So that's that community that Jackie was talking about. It's just going to be so magical and that's why we called it magical menopause. We invite people to join our magical menopause's why we called it Magical.
Speaker 2:
Menopause. We invite people to join our Magical Menopause Challenge. It's a five-day challenge and it starts on 20th May, 12 pm, new Zealand time, and we're going to have a Facebook group for it and people will be able to join on Zoom as well and ask as many questions as they want to. I'm so excited for us. It's so nice to recreate it together.
